A Month Of Sports Blog Entries

Hey, did you know that July was National Blog Posting Month? The only trouble is that apparently to properly commemorate National Blog Posting Month, you’re supposed to post to your blog every day of the month.

Well, it’s too late for that, so I thought I would do a month’s worth of postings right now. Hey, if Pat Sajak and Drew Carey can tape a month of game shows in a few days and then spend the rest of the month filling in for Regis, I figure I can attempt the same sort of accelerated work schedule. (Although I may have some trouble with the filling in for Regis part, unless Sajak or Bernadette Peters gets sick and they get very, very desperate.)

July 1:  Have you heard about this new United Football League starting up in October 2009? If not, I’m not surprised. Unlike previous failed attempts to start up competing football leagues (remember the XFL?) , this one seems like it’s not even trying to succeed. They will play games during the regular football season, guaranteeing them that football fans will be too busy watching the NFL or college to care. And they only have four teams!? Four teams?! Not much excitement in that schedule: “Well, let’s see. We play New York, then Orlando. Then we take on New York and then it’s Orlando again . . .” I think the body of Karl Malden keeps a more interesting schedule than that.

July2: One thing I do like about the UFL: The head coaches. We’re talking NFL rejects Dennis Green, Ted Cottrell, Jim Hastlett, and Jim Fassel. Hey, when this UFL thing folds about five days after it starts, can VH1 sign these guys up as potential suitors on Daisy of Love?

July 3:  July 3 is my wife’s birthday. How did I celebrate my wife’s birthday? By renewing my DirecTV NFL Sunday Ticket package after I promised her I was going to cancel it. Sorry, ladies, I’m off the market.

July 4: Our nation’s birthday. Too busy listening to Lee Greenwood to blog.

July 5: Dr. James Andrews, who repaired Brett Favre’s torn biceps tendon, tells the media that Favre “wants to play and he wants to play for the Minnesota Vikings.” Favre’s eventual signing with the Vikings is now officially the most sure-fire sure thing in sports since the last time Favre came out of retirement.

July 6: It is reported that Favre and his wife have put a down payment on a condo in the Minneapolis suburb of Edina and that the Vikings will force single-game ticket buyers of the Viking/Packer tilt to also buy Vikings/Chiefs preseason game tickets, which would ordinarily have the same street value of tickets to a Bonnie Hunt Showtaping. Wait, and Favre’s signing is still not official?

July 7: Brewers GM Doug Melvin publicly rips into Ryan Braun for his recent comments. Later that day, the Brewers lose to St. Louis 5-0. Let’s see: zero runs, but it’s the pitching that’s the problem. Got it.

July 8: Police confirm that the death of Steve McNair and girlfriend Sahel Kazemiwas a murder-suicide. Among the recent crop of deaths from Michael Jackson to Billy Mays to Farrah Fawcett, McNair’s is undoubtedly the most disturbing celebrity death of all.

July 9: Realize I’ve forgotten to mention that the Milwaukee Bucks majorly screwed up by losing Charlie Villanueva to the Detroit Pistons. But reporting that the Bucks have made a personnel move is like reporting that Eddie Murphy has made a bad movie. Just sort of loses its excitement after the hundredth time.

July 10: The Brewers lose 12-8 to the Los Angeles Dodgers after surrendering six runs in the tenth inning. Huh, maybe Ryan Braun was actually on to something . . .

July 11: A day after the bullpen melts down against LA, it then holds the Dodgers scoreless over four innings to secure a 6-3 win for Milwaukee. Wait, I get it, it’s Carlos Villanueva. He’s the problem. OK. Glad we figured that out.

July 12: Oh, the Tour de France is on. I was going to watch it, but TV Land has a Hogan’s Heroes marathon on. The decision which to watch? Not even close.

July 13: We’re at the MLB All-Star break. Here’s what I think about the midseason classic (no, not that BS Survivor clip show they run every cycle), spread out over several days of thought: One, let the fans vote. Period. I know that fans are generally going to be biased and uninformed, but who cares? It’s the fans’ game.

July 14: Related to giving the vote entirely to the fans, let’s drop this crap about the game meaning who gets home field advantage in October. It’s utterly ridiculous that the question of whether game one of the World Series is played in Los Angeles or Boston should be resting on the shoulders of the Royals representative batting in the bottom of the ninth. It’s an exhibition game and it should be devoid of any meaning apart from its inherent entertainment value. Like America’s Funniest Home Videos.

July 15: If MLB insists on the All-Star Game counting for anything, then you have to let the managers manage the game like they would a real game. Which would mean a lot of players not getting in the game and a lot of guys complaining about having their time wasted. And then there’s a myriad of situations with the pitching if the game is to be played like a real game. It’s just not worth the hassle.

July 16: I know it’s summer, but some kids aren’t allowed to stay up as late as they want in July any more than they are in October. Can’t we start the All-Star game — a game which I believe appeals more to young fans than anyone else — at a reasonable time, like 6 PM Central? I know that presents difficulties with TV coverage, so why not have it on Sunday, with the All-Star break being Saturday-Monday instead of Monday-Wednesday? I mean, the NFL and NBA All-Star games may be the most meaningless games on the planet, but at least the leagues know enough to schedule them on the weekend.

July 17: Speaking of the All-Star Game, shouldn’t All-Star Game announcer Joe Buck have been banned from television after that disasterous HBO show of his? That was the worst thing HBO has aired since D.C. Cab.

July 18: Time to look back on my preseason baseball predictions to see how I’m doing at the All-Star break. Let’s do a division a day: I picked the Cubs to win the NL Central with the Cardinals as a team that could surprise. Thanks largely to injuries — pitcher Ryan Dempster and catcher Geovany Soto being the latest casualties — the Cubs are in third place. Looks like my team to surprise — the Cardinals — now have the inside track. The Brewers? They can do a lot of things OK, but seemingly little very well. I just don’t see it.

July 19: I picked the Phillies to repeat in the NL East and they’ve currently got a four-game lead. Although their pitching stinks, I don’t see any other team in the division as a threat. I feel good about this pick.

July 20: In the biggest no-brainer of the divisional picks, I went with the Dodgers. They’ve currently got the best record in baseball. But the Giants are a good story.

July 21: I picked the Cleveland Indians to win the AL Central. The same Indians that currently have the second-worst record in baseball. I should probably have my sports blogger license taken away from me for that one. I like my “surprise” team, the Tigers, to pull away with this one in the second half.

July 22: In the toughest division in baseball, I went with the Red Sox to take the AL East. But with the Yankees lurking at only two games back, I’m not ready to call this one yet by a long shot.

July 23: I went with the Angels, who lead the division by only 1/2 game over the Texas Rangers, who somehow are 10 games over .500 despite my thinking that they had been contracted several years ago. I think the Angels will finish it off.

July 24: I picked Boston over Philadelphia in the World Series. It was a boring pick then, and it’s a boring pick now. But it still seems logical, a heck of a lot more logical than say the CBS series Harper’s Island. I’ll stick with it.

July 25: With training camp a week away, the Detroit Lions will have been mathematically eliminated from the 2009 NFL postseason. Hey, if Matthew Stafford wins one game, he’s taken his team to another level. I don’t think a number one pick overall has ever faced less pressure.

July 26: It’s Bratwurst bobble head day at Miller Park. A bobble head devoted to a sausage? Nothing like furthering those stereotypes about Wisconsinites. (But seriously, if you’re going, let me know. I can trade you a Barrel Man bobble head.)

July 27: My wedding anniversary. A reminder to self to spend more on my wife than I spent on the NFL Sunday Ticket package. (See July 3 entry.)

July 28: Why couldn’t they have made February National Blog Posting Month?

July 29:  It’s the MLS All-Star Game! Woo-hoo! Wait, that “S” stands for “Soccer”? Oh, forget it . . .

July 30: Brett Favre spotted at White Castle in St. Paul. An official signing announcement is expected anyday now . . .

July 31: Trade deadline in baseball. Will Ryan Braun get the pitching help he asked for? Methinks Braun will experience the same crushing disappointment I experienced on Christmas of 1981 when I expected that Atari 2600 and got a “Quiz Wiz” instead.

Ryan’s (False) Hope

Greetings, sports fans. I have returned from a nasty back injury that hasn’t exactly 100% healed but I thought I’d better return so I could give all of you that incisive Tour de France analysis that I know you all crave like a drunk craves a White Castle chicken ring sandwich at bar time.  

Speaking of back injuries, you remember back in 2004 when Sammy Sosa got placed on the DL because a pair of violent sneezes brought on back spasms? Remember what a boob we all thought he was because of that? Well, thanks to Mr. Sosa and my sensitive back, I worry every time I have to sneeze.

That’s why I never pluck my nose hairs or look directly into the sun: The potential for sneezing fits and resultant back spasms is off the charts, almost as strong as the potential that I will now cry whenever I see Captain EO. Good thing the 3-D movie theater that I had installed in my hyperbaric chamber is soundproof.

I also took advantage of my debilitating pain to use some of my furlough time – or as my warden used to call it — work release time. 

And after reading Ryan Braun’s comments over the weekend, I’m wondering if some of his teammates — particularly his pitchers — wish that his mouth would take a furlough.

For those of you too caught up in mourning Karl Malden to know what Braun said, on Sunday after the Brew Crew were slaughtered 8-2 by their hated rival the Chicago Cubs, Braun laid into Milwaukee’s starting pitching, claiming that playing “constantly behind in games” is “not easy and not fun.”

It’s a shame when you make only $6,373 a day and can’t even have fun doing it.

Now I have no idea how Braun’s teammates react to statements like this one or the one he made early last season after he questioned the team’s heart after a five-game losing streak. (Yes, they improved after, but methinks playing the next group of games against the Pirates and Nationals helped more than Braun’s soundbites.) And obviously what his teammates think about what Braun says is a heck of a lot more important than what I think.

But if I was a pitcher in that clubhouse, I’d be a little annoyed at the pointing of fingers, especially since in the last eight games that so-called vaunted offense that Braun represents was shut out twice and batted a paltry .250 while going 6-for-28 with runners in scoring position.

But clearly Braun feels that lousy pitching is to blame for losses such as last Wednesday’s 1-0 defeat to the Mets and Friday’s 2-1 loss to the Cubs, two games in which Yovani Gallardo and Jeff Suppan pitched a combined 14 innings and gave up a combined two earned runs.

Look, it’s hard to dump too much on Braun, who is generally productive enough and likable enough that if he had accepted ABC’s offer to be The Bachelor, even I — who swore off dating shows after wasting hours on Joe Millionaire several years ago — would probably watch it.

And you’d be challenged to find too many Brewers fans who in essence disagree with Braun. No one I know believes that this team can ride Mike Burns, Seth McClung, or a returning Manny Parra to a .500 record, much less a postseason berth.  

But Braun’s kidding himself if he believes that there’s a miracle cure out there for the Brewers’ pitching woes a la CC last year’s acquisition of CC Sabathia. The simple fact is that the best bets in this year’s lousy market tend to be aging veterans with injury issues like Tom Glavine, Pedro Martinez, and Ben Sheets, not pitchers in their prime like Sabathia.

The best hope that the Brewers have is that lightning strikes twice and the stumbling, bumbling, crumbling Cleveland Indians decide to dangle Sabathia’s old pitching teammate Cliff Lee as trade bait.

The good news for Braun — and Brewer fans — is that should Lee become available, it’s not hard to see Doug Melvin and Mark Attanasio making a run at him like they did with Sabathia.

And that’s the key: Braun is lucky enough not to play for the Pirates, but for a team whose management has proven is not afraid to make its team better when the right possibility presents itself.

Unfortunately, should a pitcher of Lee’s caliber become available, who does he replace in the rotation? Parra? Burns? McClung? The addition of someone like Lee would give Milwaukee basically three quality starters, and that’s including Suppan, who, despite his recent successes, I trust about as much as I trust my two-year-old daughter not to bite me when I’m not looking. Which is not much.

And if they would make a move to shore up the pitching rotation, Melvin and Attanasio would still be left with a team whose batting average is solidly in the bottom third of the majors. Which isn’t too promising.

I can appreciate Braun’s craving for pitching — the NL Central is right there for the taking. Unfortunately, it’s right there for the taking for pretty much all of the teams. The Cubs in particular look to improve the most as they get some key starters — Aramis Ramirez in particular — back from the DL.

Satisyfing Braun’s pitching craving could amount to little more than that drunk satisfying his White Castle craving — momentarily satisfying, but ultimately a waste of time and money.

Always Wanted An Athlete, Dad? Well . . .

Happy belated Father’s Day to all of the fathers in the hizzouse. 

I meant to post this on Sunday, but Father’s Day weekend has become remarkably hectic around our place: Since my daughter was born on June 18, 2007, Father’s Day weekend has become not only about the men who raised my wife and I — and my wife’s aunt who celebrates a birthday on June 20 — but it has also become about my daughter.

Let’s be honest: It’s become 98% about my daughter, which is just fine with me (although not quite as fine with my son). But while having a house full of visitors oohing and aahing over Abby Cadabby pajamas may equal good quality family time, it doesn’t equal good quality blogging time.

I’d also like to issue some blame for my procrastination to a Madison-area restaurant that shall go unnamed for putting me and my family in a foul mood for much of Sunday. This restaurant, not a chain, served up adequate food (no better or worse than the likes of Denny’s or Perkins) but offered, despite being only moderately busy, remarkably horrific service. Or should I say nonexistent service. When we finally complained after 45 minutes of being completely and utterly ignored, we were told that our experience was normal. I’d love to mention them by name, but I’ll instead take the high road (which, as my wife would confirm, is highly unusual for me).

So, one day late, my annual Father’s Day thoughts:

I became the head coach of my son’s kindergarten soccer team this year, and while I thoroughly enjoyed working and playing with most of the children on the team, one of the kids admittedly drove me crazy.

My son.

Now all parents say this about their children, but my six-year-old son is a remarkable kid. He’s very smart, very funny, and very creative. But he has obviously inherited his athletic prowess from his father. In short, he has none.

I’d be lying if I said that when my son was born I imagined him to be the next Eddie George or George Brett or Brett Favre (although in his potty-training, he showed a lot of Favre’s rampant indecisiveness), but had he displayed any natural athletic ability, I certainly would have encouraged it.

And I realize that he’s only six and he has oodles of time to develop into a skilled athlete.

But neither my wife nor I are holding our breath.

But hardly a day goes by that I’m not proud to be his father.

And anyway, it’s not as if all children who become well-known athletes turn into men of whom their fathers can be proud. 

So here is a list of athletes who aren’t making their fathers beam with pride this Father’s Day:

1. Donte’ Stallworth.Not only does the Cleveland Browns receiver need to live with the guilt of killing a man while driving drunk, he now has to deal with the public hatred that comes when someone gets away with manslaughter basically scot-free. Oh, and he is indefinitely barred by the NFL from making a living.

2.  Sasha Vujacic.After seeing significant playing time in last year’s NBA Finals, where he shot 42 percent from the floor for a total of 50 points over six games, the Lakers guard was wisely benched for much of the 2009 Finals. Vujacic ended up shooting 0-6 for a total of zero points in Los Angeles’s triumphant five-game series over Orlando. And he gets a ring for that?

3. Ryan Leaf.OK, maybe he’s about a decade removed from being considered an “athlete,” but the story of the former Washington State standout QB and overall number two pick in 1998’s NFL Draft just keeps getting sadder. Just last Friday he turned himself in to authorities after allegedly breaking into the apartment of  a West Texas A&M football player and stealing painkillers. (Leaf was the quarterbacks coach at the school until resigning amid an unrelated drug investigation.) Ryan Leaf and Morganna, the Kissing Bandit: Your two biggest sports-related busts ever.

4. Alex Rodriguez. The Yankees “slugger” is having about as good a year professionally as Vanilla Ice: First he admitted to using banned substances, then he got injured, now he’s hitting a whopping .213 and is performing so poorly that Yankee manager Joe Girardi has decided to rest him occassionally for “fatigue.” Not to mention that embarrassing Guitar Hero commercial that makes Michael Jordan’s cutesy series of underwear spots with Cuba Gooding, Jr., look positively brilliant in comparison.

5.  Daisuke Matsuzaka. Remember when the Boston Red Sox paid $51.11 million just for the right to negotiate with the Japanese star pitcher? He’s now on the DL with a 1-5 record and a 8.23 ERA.  The Red Sox still have the second-best team in baseball, but that $51 mill is looking like one of the biggest wastes of money since the budget for Basic Instinct 2.

6. Marian Hossa. The right winger defected from the Pittsburgh Penguins at the end of last season to sign with the Detroit Red Wings, saying in effect that Detroit offered him the best chance at a Stanley Cup. Not only did the Penguins end up beating the Wings in the 2009 Stanley Cup Finals, but Hossa stunk, scoring exactly zero goals in the seven-game series. Shelley Long has managed her career better than Hossa.

7. Josh McDaniels. OK, the head coach of the Denver Broncos isn’t necessarily an athlete, although he did play football in college. But the 33-year-old coach is younger than many professional athletes, and has had one of the worst off-seasons in recent NFL history: First he was a key figure in the loss of franchise quarterback Jay Cutler, now he is faced with the possibility of star receiver Brandon Marshall refusing to play for him. McDaniels also drafted a running back in the first round of the 2009 NFL Draft despite the fact that the team had picked up three backs in free agency. I haven’t seen anyone more primed to fail in a new job since Gary Cherone took over for Sammy Hagar in Van Halen. But hey, if McDaniels does fail in Denver, I know a certain Madison-area restaurant that could use some service help.

Happy Father’s Day.

Manny’s Gone South. So What’s Next?

For Milwaukee Brewers fans, the ugliest battle of the month hasn’t been David Letterman versus Sarah Palin.

It’s been Brewers starting pitcher Manny Parra versus opposing batters.

It’s a battle that Parra, with a 13.50 ERA over his last five starts, has been losing.

Saturday, after another horrible start in which he gave up six runs in 1-2/3 innings against a toothless Chicago White Sox lineup (the Sox have been shut out nine times this season, the most in baseball), Parra finally lost the war, as he was sent down to AAA Nashville.

Parra was informed of the decision before the game was even over. You get the feeling that manager Ken Macha wished he had one of those Star Trek transporter machines so he could have sent Parra from the Miller Park mound directly to the showers at Herschel Greer Stadium in Music City.

But as quick as Macha was to jettison Parra, he was equally quick to say that due to a couple of upcoming off days, Parra would not need to be replaced in the starting rotation until June 28, leaving open the possibility that Parra’s minor league stint would be a brief one.

Brewers fans have to hope that the only Manny that returns to the majors in the next three weeks is suspended Dodger Manny Ramirez. Wisconsin fans are welcoming people – OK, maybe they won’t welcome a purple-wearing Brett Favre too nicely to Lambeau Field on November 1 – but Parra, credited with only five Brewers wins since last July, has clearly worn out his welcome here.

But what then can the Brewers do to improve their five-man starting rotation, give their wearying bullpen some relief, and also get closer Trevor Hoffman – completely unused for nearly a week early this month (if I wanted to hear some AC/DC, I had to tune to Bone Yard on my Sirius satellite radio) – some more save opportunities?

Clearly one option – the cheapest and easiest – would be to move middle reliever Seth McClung back to the starting rotation. And it might be the best option, as McClung has pitched well this season, only surrendering 10 runs in over 34 innings of work for an impressive 2.60 ERA and 3-1 record.

But moving McClung back to the rotation lacks, well, excitement. And despite the Brewers having one of the dullest human beings on the planet as their manager, General Manager Doug Melvin and owner Mark Attanasio proved after last year’s trade for CC Sabathia that they’re not afraid of making some noise.

And seeing how Sabathia single-handedly saved Milwaukee’s season last year, you can bet that Melvin – despite just last week refuting trade rumors as “absolutely false” – and Attanasio are curious to see whether lightning can strike twice. 

Even if a trade is made, fans praying for the second coming of Sabathia will have to prepare to be disappointed – this year there does not look to be any dominant, still-in-his-prime pitcher available.

But with the Disney Channel’s Handy Manny striking more fear in major league hitters than Manny Parra, any addition would have to be seen as an upgrade.

So who’s out there?

The biggest name is probably Pedro Martinez, he of the lifetime 214-99 record, the career 2.91 ERA, the eight All-Star selections, and the three Cy Young Awards. Martinez hasn’t pitched well lately (5-6 with 5.61 ERA with the Mets in 2008), but he did make an impressive appearance in March’s World Baseball Classic. Also, the Cubs are rumored to be interested in Martinez, so securing him would have the potential added bonus of blocking him from going to their biggest rival. But the 37-year-old Martinez would ultimately cost more (his agent is reportedly seeking $5 million for the year) than he’s likely worth at this point in his career.

Tom Glavine, who with 305 wins had the most victories of anyone in the majors on an active roster before being surprisingly cut by the Braves earlier this month, is an interesting option, especially given his pedigree and the fact that he’s a southpaw. But the Braves made it clear that the 43-year-old Glavine was released not for financial reasons but for performance issues – he was coming back from elbow and shoulder surgery – and their strong statements about Glavine’s lack of ability might be enough to scare off serious suitors. After all, the Braves know a thing or two about pitchers.

Trade rumors swirled heavily around 2007 NL Cy Young winner and San Diego pitcher Jake Peavy last month; in fact he was in effect traded to the Chicago White Sox until Peavy utilized the no-trade clause in his contract to block the trade. At the time Peavy declared that remaining in San Diego was best for his family, but after the Sox deal and the fact that Peavy was nearly traded to the Cubs last season, you have to wonder how long a pitcher can remain with a team that so clearly doesn’t want him. Unfortunately for Peavy and any interested teams (and for the Padres, since they are clearly trying to move him), a just-diagnosed strained tendon in his right ankle will likely sideline him for 8-12 weeks.

Other pitchers potentially available include Brad Penny of the Boston Red Sox and Jerrod Washburn of the Seattle Mariners, but one name conspicuously absent from all the trade rumors is former Brewers ace Ben Sheets.

The Mets are reportedly interested in Sheets, but after having surgery to repair a torn flexor tendon in February, Sheets has been rehabbing his elbow at a facility near his home in Texas while reportedly visiting former Brewers pitching coach Mike Maddux, who is now the pitching coach for the Texas Rangers. So a deal with the Rangers appears most likely. But no one from Sheets’s camp is coming forward with any information about how well Sheets’s rehab is coming along, which is not a good sign.

The uncertainty regarding Sheets’s health was, of course, a consistent presence during his years with the Brewers. If he can pitch, Milwaukee fans, used to seeing Sheets’s availability limited to less than a season, might be willing to roll the dice on him one more time. Most Brewer faithful would probably argue that a 75% healthy Sheets would be more effective than a completely-healthy Parra.

And for Melvin and Attanasio, two men not afraid of causing a stir, the only way they could top last year’s Sabathia-led playoff run would be with a playoff run led by the triumphant return of Olympic gold medalist and fan favorite Ben Sheets.

This Jersey For Sale

The WNBA opened its season this weekend. Yes, the same weekend that the NHL and NBA finals are continuing, that Tiger Woods is playing at the Memorial Tournament, and that jockey Calvin Borel fell just short in his attempt to complete a historic triple crown. 

So thanks largely to horrific timing, the opening weekend of the struggling women’s basketball league will receive about as much media coverage as my son’s kindergarten soccer game.

(Our team lost, but I think it should be mentioned that there was some controversy, as the other team had a first-grader on their squad. I know he was in first grade because he said so, although his handlebar mustache was also a clue to his advanced age.)

But something interesting and potentially revolutionary in American sports is afoot in the WNBA. Both the Phoenix Mercury and the Los Angeles Sparks have reached deals with corporate sponsors (LifeLock and Farmers Insurance, respectively) that have resulted in company logos appearing on both their road and home uniforms. 

While some might retch at the notion of jerseys with corporate logos as a corporate sellout, to anyone who’s ever watched even a few seconds of NASCAR, where the drivers have more logos on their racing suits than Donald Driver’s had contract negotiations, this might not seem like such a big deal.

And that’s exactly right. This is not a big deal. In fact, I can’t believe it’s taken this long.

When I go the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel’s Web site, I’m met with a picture of Packers head coach Mike McCarthy shilling for a local heating and cooling company. When I watch sporting events on TV, I can see any number of athletes being paid handsomely to endorse products, from LeBron James selling car insurance to LaDainian Tomlinson selling TVs to Peyton Manning selling pretty much everything.

Would it really be such a shock to the system to see Aaron Rodgers drop back in the pocket with a Mountain Dew Throwback logo across his chest? Would anyone lose interest in the Milwaukee Brewers if Ryan Braun sported a picture of Colonel Sanders on his batting helmet?

Has the fact that Tiger Woods never steps on the golf course without wearing Nike apparel hurt his popularity or his TV ratings? Of course not.

For those who think that teams in the WNBA are taking these measures because they’re struggling teams in a struggling league in a struggling economy, they’re right. But they’re wrong if they believe that sponsors’ logos will never grace the jerseys of players in more established leagues like the NFL, NBA, or Major League Baseball. In this economy and beyond, owners will always be looking for new ways to make money, largely because they continue to insist on signing even mediocre players to multi-multi-million dollar deals.

Just this week, the Green Bay Packers said that they were looking into the possibility of selling sponsorship patches on players’ practice uniforms. Although the NFL now prohibits such ad placement on game jerseys, can that really be so far behind? Surely you’ll see the Detroit Lions making room for a Sony logo on their jerseys before you see them making room for a Vince Lombardi Trophy at their headquarters.

These days, consumers are getting savvier about ignoring advertisements. So advertisers are finding ways to outsmart them. Television shows such as Survivor, with contestants being rewarded everything from Charmin toilet paper to Pringles, and 90210, with its not-so-subtle references to Dr. Pepper (”Drinking Dr. Pepper is what a road trip is all about!”) are taking product placement to new and ever-more visible heights.

So-called sponsorship patches or logo jerseys are a logical step for advertisers looking to reach the humongous and typically very demographically desirable (i.e. young males who may not watch a lot else on TV) sports audience.  

Are there potential pitfalls to teams literally selling the shirts off their backs and creating an unprecedented and unmistakable connection between athlete and sponsor? Of course. Let’s say the NFL gave the OK last year for logos on game jerseys and the Minnesota Vikings signed a five-year deal with Purina Dog Food to wear Purina patches on their uniforms. That would probably put a damper on any thoughts of them pursuing the newly-freed Michael Vick. Now whether you believe that Vick deserves another chance in the NFL or not, certainly a corporate sponsor shouldn’t be the deciding factor in that personnel decision.

Or let’s say that one of the bench players on the Los Angeles Sparks gets involved in some embarrassing personal situation, like an Internet sex tape. Is it so unbelievable that someone from Farmers Insurance could make it known to team ownership that they’d just as soon not see that player put into games?

Nowadays everything in sports and sports media is for sale. We go to Miller Park, we watch the Tostitos Fiesta Bowl, and we listen to Peter Gammons talk to ESPN’s Mike and Mike in the Morning on something awkwardly christened the Subway Fresh Take Hot Line. And while some may grumble, the commercialization of sports will never be able to dampen the excitement of a no-hitter, a triple-double, a game-winning field goal, or a meaningful game between historic rivals.

When Steelers linebacker James Harrison returned that Kurt Warner interception for a touchdown in this year’s Super Bowl for the longest play in Super Bowl history, would the play have been any less memorable if he had been wearing a Michelin Man on his jersey? 

Or if Brett Favre went to the Minnesota Vikings, would Packers fans hate him more if his purple jersey was affixed with a Starbucks logo?

Taking Down Tarkenton

A week ago, if I had found myself playing the macabre party game “Dead or Alive,” and Fran Tarkenton’s name had come up, I would have been stumped.

I certainly wouldn’t have thought that the former Minnesota Vikings quarterback and co-host of That’s Incredible was definitely dead, but Frantic Fran hasn’t exactly been making many headlines lately.

Well, Scramblin’ Fran, 69, is alive. And angry. At Brett Favre.

Sir Frances told a radio station last week that he would like to see Number 4 play for his former team this upcoming season. But not so the former Packer could lead the Purple to its first-ever Super Bowl title.

“I kind of hope it happens, so he can fail,” Tarkenton said.

Tarkenton went on to call Favre “despicable” for how he has conducted himself since his initial retirement in March 2008, and he summed up Favre’s last season as “He goes to New York and bombs.” (Which is only true if you ignore Favre’s first eleven games, during which he led the Jets to an 8-3 record.)

Now I have tons of respect for Sir Francis. Not only for his stellar playing career, but for something a bit more arcane: In 1977, Tarkenton was the very first athlete to host Saturday Night Live (Minnesota natives Al Franken and Tom Davis lobbied hard for him) and for my money, Fran the Man was more natural on-camera and funnier than any of the countless athletes that have hosted since then. 

(For anyone who believes that SNL is edgier now than it was thirty years ago, I urge you to rent or download Tarkenton’s fine episode. Sketches such as the “Anabolic Steroids Cereal” commercial parody and the “Black Perspective” debate on African-American quarterbacks would never get on the air today.)

But Francis’s decision to give a rare public interview on Brett Favre sounds to me like nothing but sour grapes.

Why would Tarkenton be bitter toward Favre? Well, when Tarkenton retired in 1978, he held the following NFL records: pass attempts, completions, yardage, touchdowns, rushing yards by a quarterback, and wins by a starting quarterback. Now, with the exception of rushing yards (that’s owned by Randall Cunningham, who oddly enough also played with Minnesota), all of those records are held by Favre.

And despite Tarkenton’s Hall of Fame career, he (like poor Jim Kelly) is unjustly remembered as someone who, despite numerous opportunities, could not win a Super Bowl. Tarkenton played lousy in all three of his bids for the Vince Lombardi Trophy, notching an unenviable 0-3 Super Bowl record .

So although it seems like a long shot, me thinks Francis is a little perturbed at the mere thought that the guy who now holds nearly all of the records he once held could possibly lead the team that he once led for thirteen seasons to something that he could not – a Super Bowl victory.

Do I agree with Tarkenton that by his actions over the past sixteen months Favre has sullied his career with the Packers? No question. But as the Vikings’ greatest living ex-player, Tarkenton has hardly outclassed Favre by going on record as saying he hopes his former team makes a move that will cause it to “fail.”

Bud Grant would never say such a thing. Ever if he were alive. 

Wait a minute . . .

This Blog Is Not About Brett Favre

I love Coach Wade.

For those of you who don’t know, I’m not talking about Wade Phillips or my junior high school basketball coach. I’m talking about a recently-eliminated contestant on the current (ends Sunday night) season of Survivor. Whether endlessly popping his jersey as the self-appointed “Dragonslayer,” reciting self-penned poetry on his Survivor experience, or collapsing in pain from phony injuries, drama queen Coach Wade is one of the most memorable contestants in the nearly 10-year history of the CBS reality series.

But if you don’t watch Survivor, you surely have no idea who I’m talking about. However, I don’t watch American Idol or Dancing with the Stars and I know exactly who Adam Lambert is and when Lil’ Kim and her dance partner were eliminated thanks to how those two shows have saturated popular culture in a way that the long-in-the-tooth Survivor no longer does. But I have no doubt that there is more entertainment value in just one of Coach Wade’s Survivor interview segments than in an entire season of Idol or DWTS.

Likewise, the story of the 2009 Milwaukee Brewers seems to be going largely unnoticed, either by local writers who choose to obsess over every infinitesimal detail having to do with Brett Favre (and I’m certainly guilty of that), or by the national media who are more engaged with the suspension of Manny Ramirez, the ineffectiveness of David Ortiz, or the pathetic ceremonial pitch thrown out at Citi Field by Howard Stern’s Baba Booey.

You could make an MLB-wide argument for the early-season successes of the Toronto Blue Jays or even the Kansas City Royals, but make no mistake about it: In the National League, the Milwaukee Brewers are the story.

I’ve been reluctant to heap praise on the Brewers this season, since last year whenever I did they went into a tailspin, but I simply can’t write another word on Brett Favre’s torn biceps tendon without acknowledging what the Brewers are doing: Since starting out 4-9 and being prematurely declared dead by everyone (including me), they have gone 18-5 (best stretch in baseball) and have not lost a series since losing their first four.

To anyone who would discard the last 23 games by claiming that the Brewers have feasted on MLB’s weaklings, I would say that, yes, I agreed with that logic to a point. But not now, not after Milwaukee took two of three from the Cubs last week and now seem poised to win their current series at St. Louis (as I write, they are up 4-0 early in Sunday’s game). The Cubs and Cards are clearly the Brewers’ strongest division foes; if they can continue to handle them, they will win the NL Central.

Any discussion of the Brewers’ success over the last month has to start with pitching. While the losses of Sabathia and Sheets seemed destined to doom Milwaukee (and did very early on), the rotation is now one of the strongest in the majors. As a team, the Brewers have the third-best ERA in the NL (4.00), are tied for most quality starts (22), and have surrended the next-to-fewest earned runs in the league (142) while holding opponents to the next-to-worst batting average (.239). That the Brewers staff is doing this without Sabathia and Sheets is as surprising as the fact that we’re halfway through May and the Royals haven’t been mathmatically eliminated from the postseason.

In the Brewers’ rotation, certainly Jeff Suppan deserves special mention. After a walk-infested meltdown on April 12 against the Cubs at Miller Park caused Brewer fans to give him roughly the same treatment that a Viking fan with swine flu would get at Lambeau Field, Suppan has been largely lights-out, notching a 2.92 ERA and a 3-1 record over his last six starts. Suppan’s shutout performance Saturday at Busch Stadium was nothing short of historic as he carried the Brewers to a win for just the sixth time in franchise history when the offense earns just one or two hits.

And unlike last year, when no lead was safe with the likes of Eric Gagne and Guillermo Mota coming out of the bullpen, Trevor Hoffman has been a better closer than Tom Selleck and Kyra Sedgwick combined, converting on nine-of-nine save opportunities, allowing only three hits, and chalking up a perfect 0.00 ERA. Reliever Mark DeFelice (3-0, 0.98 ERA) has been exceptional as well.

Considering that prior to the start of the season the Brewers’ offense was expected to be the team’s strength, its batting numbers aren’t as impressive as the team’s pitching stats. However, the Brewers’ hitters are holding their own: The team ranks second in the NL in home runs (48) and fifth in on-base percentage (.347). But surprisingly, the Brewers are near the bottom of the league in batting average (.255). Not so surprisingly, the Brewers’ batters are near the top of the league (third) in strikeouts (292). But even with J.J. Hardy and Jason Kendall getting about as many hits as a McLean Stevenson tribute Web site, the Brewers lineup will remain treacherous for most any opposing pitcher.

As the Brewers head into interleague play, it will be interesting to see how manager Ken Macha integrates third baseman Mat Gamel — a top offensive prospect just called up from Triple-A Nashville — into the lineup. Macha may have been planning to use Gamel as the DH in next weekend’s series at Minnesota, but if Rickie Weeks’s wrist injury (he left Sunday’s game in the first inning) amounts to anything, Gamel may be used more frequently to platoon at third with Bill Hall, who is struggling again against right-handed pitching. Craig Counsell would presumably then take Weeks’s spot at second base, as he did on Sunday.

It will also be interesting as the season progresses to see if Ken Macha, who has all of the charisma of a frozen pot pie, will be able to hold a post-game press conference without putting any writers and reporters to sleep. But if Macha’s lack of energy somehow continues to translate into success on the field, Brewers fans will take it.

After all, a baseball game is not a island-based reality show and Manager Macha doesn’t have to be Coach Wade. But if Macha wanted to start referring to himself as “Dragonslayer,” I’d be all for it.

Top Ten Reasons Favre Didn’t Sign With Vikings . . . Yet

At the end of another Favre-saturated week, here is my final entry on the continuing Brett-to-Vikings saga. (And if you believe that, you believe that Favre really is retired for good.) 

With apologies to David Letterman, here are my top ten reasons that Brett Favre did not sign with the Minnesota Vikings. At least not yet.

10. Worried that he would have to change name of owned-and-operated restaurant from Brett Favre’s Steakhouse to Brett Favre’s House of Lutefisk.

9. Was nervous about having to compete with Vikings quarterbacks Tavaris Jackson, Sage Rosenfels, and John David Booty for playing time. In a related story, Brad Pitt is said to be nervous about Angelina Jolie running off with the fat kid from Two and a Half Men.

8. Was unable to convince Vikings head coach Brad Childress to reinstate the team’s once-annual “sex cruise” on Lake Minnetonka.

7. Wife Deanna doesn’t get along with Delta Burke. (Reference to Brad Childress’s resemblance to Gerald “Major Dad” McRaney. Work with me, people!)

6. Was unfazed when told that Mississippi ranked dead last in the latest state-by-state education rankings while Minnesota ranked first. Cited that Mississippi schools spent much more time on ”necessary” subjects like prevention of rickets and history of the rodeo.

5. Discovered that there are no Waffle Houses in Minnesota and Vikings refused to pay for daily shipment of scattered, smothered, covered, chunked, diced, and peppered hash browns.

4. Refused Vikings request to have surgery to repair torn biceps tendon in right arm; Vikings refused Favre’s counteroffer to instead have Minnesota icon Mary Tyler Moore tattooed on back.

3. Could not make Vikings believe that he was not looking to join Packers rival simply for spite, saying instead that he wanted to play for Minnesota because he “really, really, really hated Ted Thompson.”

2. Local television affiliates cut eleventh-hour deal with Vikings; stations were concerned that with Favre in purple, the Vikings home games would not be blacked out and they had already sold airtime to makers of Jack LaLanne’s Power Juicer.

And the number one reason Brett Favre decided this week not to play for the Minnesota Vikings . . .

1. Are you kidding? It’s only May! Favre never comes out of retirement until August. As sure as I am that Coldplay ripped off Cat Stevens, I’m sure that Favre will be handing off to Adrian Peterson come September.

Go West, Brett Favre

My six-year-old son changes his obsessions more often than my father changes his underwear (which frankly isn’t nearly as often as the family would like). Just in the last few months my son has gone from Yogi Bear to Scooby-Doo to SpongeBob to Charlie Brown.

The downside of this fickleness is that he is constantly asking for new toys, video games, and movies to match his new interests. The upside is that my wife and I never get too tired of any one character or show, and often he moves on faster than I want him too — hey, that SpongeBob is funny stuff.

Unfortunately, the new obsessions — Pokemon and Super Mario Bros. — are not nearly as entertaining as Mr. Square Pants. And to make matters worse, he’s not just into Super Mario Bros. the video game, but the early-nineties TV show, which of course is available on DVD. (Hey, not much isn’t.) 

Anyway, the other day he was watching an episode of Super Mario Bros.and I was flabbergasted to discover it was about Milli Vanilli, the disgraced pop duo whose career ended when it was discovered they did not actually sing on the multi-platinum album Girl You Know It’s True.

As my brain took a vacation from Mario and Luigi to reminisce about Milli Vanilli, I found myself suddenly thinking about the “retired” Brett Favre.

When Favre announced his second retirement in February, I was pleased and relieved. After his year with the New York Jets had come to a miserable end, I felt it was clear that Favre’s time had come and gone. I was similarly pleased and relieved when the cover was blown off of Milli Vanilli’s vocal deceptions. Milli Vanilli’s time couldn’t come and go fast enough.

But then the highlight of the Milli Vanilli scandal happened: The bizarre press conference when the duo tried in vain to prove that they really could sing. They proved in about 1.5 seconds at that press conference that they couldn’t. But the conference itself was a spectacle of which I wanted more of. Surely nowadays Vh1 would sign the two to a reality show, elongating the duo’s fifteen minutes of fame, but in the early 1990s, it was harder to be famous without having actual talent, and Milli Vanilli was done for good.

Now comparing Brett Favre’s career to Milli Vanilli’s is like comparing my journalistic career to Woodward and Bermstein’s: It’s insulting and ridiculous. But now that the story of Brett Favre coming out of retirement — again — to join the Minnesota Vikings is getting hotter, it’s clear to me that, like my unexplainable morbid fascination to see Milli Vanilli try to go legit, I have an unexplainable morbid fascination to see Brett Favre play for the Vikings.

Do I believe Brett Favre will launch yet another comeback to play for one of the Packers’ two biggest rivals? Six weeks ago I would have laughed at the notion. But six weeks ago I would have laughed at the notion of David Letterman getting married.

This we know: A year ago Favre wanted to play for Minnesota. Ted Thompson made sure that couldn’t happen. Ted Thompson can no longer prevent that from happening. Brett Favre hates Ted Thompson. Brett Favre is a massive competitor. Brett Favre also has a massive ego.  Like a child who sneaks off to get a pre-dinner cookie after being told no, Favre would presumably love to sneak off and play for Minnesota now that Ted Thompson can no longer tell him no.

But I don’t believe that the chance to continue his personal battle with Thompson would be enough for Favre. But I do believe that the chance to end his career on a more positive note would be. Favre’s last five weeks in 2008 were his worst stretch since the Packers’ awful 4-12 2005 campaign and were perhaps worse than that: Unlike in Green Bay, where Mike Sherman was the scapegoat for losing, Favre was the scapegoat in New York.  The Jet teammates that Favre supposedly distanced himself from were publicly calling for his benching, a type of outcry that was unheard of in Green Bay, where, despite occasional setbacks, Favre was seen (along with Mike Holmgren) as the savior of a franchise that had been long dormant before his arrival.

Could Favre save the Vikings? Yes, at least for one season. Favre could make a playmaker out of first round draft pick Percy Harvin (although the wide receiver’s NFL career is off to a bad start, as he was hospitalized less than a week after the draft for dehydration and a virus), and apart from shaky special teams play, the Vikings don’t really have any glaring holes outside of quarterback.

Vikings head coach Brad Childress may bear an uncanny resemblance to Mr. Noodle’s brother Mr. Noodle from Elmo’s World, but Childress is undoubtedly smarter than the wide-eyed dimwit who lives to perform simple tasks at the behest of a goldfish. He knows that stubbornly sticking with the consistently disappointing Tavaris Jackson and career backups like Gus Frerotte or new recruit Sage Rosenfels will eventually cost him his job.

Childress knows that Favre would, rightly or wrongly, bring immediate Super Bowl talk to the Twin Cities and, again at least for a season, end the ticket-selling problems the Vikings started to have last year, problems that admittedly could be blamed on the economy as much as on the team’s inept quarterback play.

Childress admitted at the Vikings’ rookie minicamp that the team would talk about pursuing Favre. “We talk about everything,” Childress said, insinuating that the conversations in Eden Prairie could also include what the heck is happening on Lost, whatever happened to the McDLT, and Miley Cyrus’s Twitter page.

Undoubtedly one of the major negatives for Childress in bringing Favre on — if Favre was indeed open to the possibility — would be the baggage that such a signing would bring. Childress isn’t real good with the media, and Favre in purple would be the state’s biggest sports story since the Twins won the World Series in 1991, which happened just a few months before Favre was traded from the Atlanta Falcons to the Packers.

Look, I said my desire to see Favre play for the Vikings was an “unexplainable morbid curiosity.” But I’ll try to explain it anyway: To use Mike McCarthy’s and Ted Thompson’s words, the Packers have “moved on” with Aaron Rodgers. Statistically, Rodgers had a much better 2008 season than Favre, and while I’m not prepared to say that the team did the right thing in not welcoming Favre back with open arms, no one can now inarguably claim that the team made a major mistake by not doing so.  Favre did not lead the Jets to the Super Bowl or even the playoffs, and Rodgers’s failings to do the same with the Packers last year more often than not had more to do with the bad situations his defense continually put him in than any poor play on his part. 

In short, Rodgers has proven himself worthy of the faith his bosses had in him and the Packers — and by extension, their fans — should no longer feel threatened by what Favre might bring to another NFL team, even one in their own division.

Could Favre be detrimental to the Vikings? Certainly. As he did in New York, Favre could alienate his purple teammates, anger his coach, downplay an injury that causes him to play poorly, and hinder the team’s long-term growth by delaying the development of a young quarterback. (Although Jackson’s had ample opportunity to indicate growth and he has not done so.)

Therefore, I don’t believe Favre playing for Minnesota negatively impacts the Packers while I also think his chances of screwing up the Vikings — especially in the bigger, development of players at the team’s most important position, picture — are nearly equally as great as his chances are for improving them.

I said earlier that if the Milli Vanilli scandal broke today, the duo would have their own reality show as they attempted their comeback. Favre in purple would be an equally bizarre reality show that would fascinate Packer Nation and Purple Pride alike, with the Vikings having much more to lose in the experiment than the Packers.

Brett, you keep trying to get out, but something, even the hated occupants of the NFL’s worst monstrosity of a stadium, keeps pulling you back in. If you want to heed the call of the Viking horn, go right ahead. You have my blessing.

NFL Draft: The Packers, The North, The Badgers

I’m a much better father than I am a husband. Although I believe that on many levels the roles are intertwined, my kids are the major benefactors of whatever generosity and kindness I can manage to scrounge together.

So when the timing hit for my wife to be invited to a party on Saturday afternoon on the same weekendthat my parents would be in town to watch our kids, there was really no way out for me. I had to put on my husband pants and accompany my wife to the party. Only it wasn’t really a party. It was a co-ed baby shower, the social equivalent for most males to getting their scrotum caught in a paper shredder. Right in the middle of the opening day of the NFL Draft, which is, after MLB’s opening day, the best sports day of the spring.

But I reasoned that I wouldn’t be the only male at the party more interested in following the NFL draft than in playing “name the baby animal.” I figured that the host of the party, whom I admittedly didn’t know well, would greet all men at the door with an “I’m sorry, this was the only day that we could do this” pat on the back, a barley pop, and directions to a widescreen HDTV tuned to ESPN.

I was wrong. I didn’t hear the draft mentioned once. There was no TV tuned to ESPN or NFL Network or anything else. (I found out towards the end of the party that the hosts don’t have cable or satellite and the only television I saw was one that most self-respecting TV lovers like myself would confine to a bathroom, garage, or shed.) There was no barley pops; only a lukewarm 2-liter of Coke. I quickly accepted my fate and resisted the urge to get draft updates via the iPhone that my wife kept in her front jeans pocket so as to avoid an argument later. (That strategy didn’t work — I still had the argument, for reasons too convoluted to get into here.) 

So I missed live coverage of the 2009 NFL Draft. But if I were superstitious, I would make it a point to miss it every year. Because the Green Bay Packers avoided the head-scratching moves of the last two drafts and actually had a stellar opening day. GM Ted Thompson successfully fought his tendency to draft the so-called “best player available” and went with Boston College nose tackle B.J. Raji instead of Texas Tech standout wide receiver Michael Crabtree, who was then immediately snapped up by the San Francisco 49ers with the very next pick. While Crabtree should fulfill 49ers head coach Mike Singletary’s oft-repeated cry for “winners,” Raji, at 6′ 11″ and 323 pounds, should fulfill the Packers’ need for run stoppers (105 tackles at BC) in Dom Capers’s new 3-4 scheme. Raji has also provento be an effective pass rusher, with 12.5 sacks in his college career, eight of those coming in 2008 alone.

Thompson then did something even more out-of-character: he traded up to get USC linebacker Clay Matthews in the second round with the 26th overall pick. It was the first time since 1993 the Packers had two first-round picks and the first time in five years that Thompson has not traded down to get more picks. While there are some concerns that Matthews lacks experience — he started only 10 games in his USC career — Matthews was a key piece in the nation’s best scoring defense (9.0 points per game) in 2008. And Matthews, the son of former NFL linebacker Clay Matthews Jr. and nephew of Hall of Fame offensive lineman Bruce Matthews, has football in his blood. Like Raji, Matthews could see significant playing time in his rookie season.

So who is this “Ted Thompson impersonator,” as Wisconsin State Journal columnist Tom Oates so accurately labeled him after Saturday’s sensible need-based picks? Well, it’s pretty simple — he’s a man who, perhaps for the first time, realizes that he is in charge of a team that has real problems, and not a team that can sleepwalk its way to the top of the improving NFC North. When told that his Saturday picks were not met with boos by fans attending the draft party at Lambeau Field, Thompson joked that Packer Nation was getting “soft.” No, Ted, you’re getting smart. You’ve taken a lot of blame lately for questionable decisions. Feel free to take credit for what appears to be two very sound draft picks.

Whereas the Packers had the most solid first day of any NFC North team, they clearly did not make the biggest splash in the division.  The Bears, by virtue of the Jay Cutler trade, and the Lions, by virtue of having the first overall pick, made sure of that. But it is a much surer bet that — assuming they sign — the Packers will get their money’s worth from Raji and Matthews than the Bears or particularly the Lions will get their money’s worth from their new very expensive franchise quarterbacks.

The Vikings raised many eyebrows by drafting Florida wide receiver Percy Harvin with the 22nd overall pick. While I join others in questioning Harvin’s maturity level (testing positive for drugs at the NFL combine is beyond stupidity, since players know in advance they will be tested), my main issue withthe Vikings’ first-round pick relates to their quarterback situation. Harvin could well be the finest receiver of this year’s draft class, but if a team doesn’t have a dependable quarterback — and the Vikings don’t — then using a first-round pick on a receiver seems as sound an investment as a high school kid buying a gross of condoms when he has no girlfriend and no prospects. As long as the Vikings have Tavaris Jackson and Sage Rosenfels as their quarterbacks, they will never see Harvin reach his potential.

It will be interesting to see which if any of the four Badgers drafted will be able to reach their potential in the NFL. While offensive lineman Kriag Urbik is clearly going to the best team — Pittsburgh — I look for Travis Beckum, if he can stay healthy — to fit in very well with the Giants. Poor Matt Shaughnessy (Raiders) and DeAndre Levy (Lions), though: Hopefully they can ride out their time with the NFL bottom-feeders and get traded along the line to better teams. Ain’t nobody in the NFL reaching their potential in Oakland and Detroit.