A Sidewalk Costume

Happy Halloween, dear readers. Or, if you aren’t a drinker and/or don’t have small children at home, Happy Tuesday.

Every Halloween I’m reminded of one of my favorite Saturday Night Live sketches: Dan Aykroyd’s sleazeball businessman Irwin Mainway defending his company’s “safe” Halloween costumes to disgusted consumer advocate Jane Curtin: All were hysterical, but the best have to be Invisible Pedestrian (an all-black suit, gloves, and mask) and Johnny Human Torch (a bag of oily rags and a lighter). Also memorable: The Coneheads distributing eggs and six-packs of beers to trick-or-treaters. Which reminds me: Both Dan Aykroyd and Jane Curtin are still alive. I smell stunt casting: The two should reunite to play Tina Fey’s parents on NBC’s 30 Rock.

The way Tom Brady ate up the Minnesota Vikings pass defense on Monday night, I think Dan Aykroyd could have lined up at wide receiver for the Patriots and caught four passes for 49 yards and a touchdown. And while it was a treat for Packers fans to watch the Vikings get embarrassed on national (albeit cable) television, surely many had the same sobering thought as they watched Brady play a game of catch with seemingly eight consistently open receivers: Crap, the Packers have to play the Patriots too. And last time I checked, the Packers’ pass defense was the worst in the league. At least the Packers/Patriots game won’t be a national broadcast. Well, unless NBC and the NFL move it to Sunday night.

Hey, the NBA season tips off tonight, with the Bucks premiering on the road Wednesday night at Detroit, a game that can be seen live locally on My Madison TV (14 on DirecTV and Charter). As much as I enjoy the NBA and especially the playoffs, for whatever reason I can never seem to get into the games that much until around Christmas. If the Bucks can come close to last year’s relatively quick start (they were 5-2 early on and 17-11 in January), it’ll be easier to sign on early for what is a long season. With T.J. Ford gone, the road will be tougher, but the Bucks got some great news when second-year center Andrew Bogut was cleared to play in the season opener. (How do you go from being expected to miss a month of the regular season to missing none of the regular season? I haven’t seen that drastic a recovery since Star Jones came back from gastric bypass surgery.)

Anyway, I like the Bulls to come out of the East and the Spurs (yes, again) to come out of the West. And I like gummy cola bottles if you want to send me some Halloween candy. Come on, I’m Crazy Newspaper Face, now gimme some candy! (See, I’ve watched SNL since the ’70s. I’m not that out of touch. Wait, what do you mean Joe Piscopo is no longer on? And who’s this Will Ferrell that the kids are so into?)

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