Spears, K-Fed, and John Stocco

Is this week over yet? I swear there’s been enough going on already by Wednesday to fill up most fortnights. Obviously, you’ve got the election. That’s sort of a big deal. Then Donald Rumsfeld “steps down.” Then there’s that whole Faith Hill thing. Then Kirstie Alley does Oprah in a bikini. (Or words to that effect.) Plus, both first seasons of Beverly Hills 90210 and Melrose Place came out on DVD this Tuesday!

But maybe the biggest news is the Britney Spears divorce. Not since “The Wait Out” episode of Seinfeld have I seen people happier about a couple splitting up. You’d think that K-Fed was following the customs of Kazakhstan as depicted in Borat and keeping Britney in a cage, only letting her out to plow the fields. Come on, people, have a little sympathy for K-Fed. Not only is he losing his meal ticket, but he’s now on a faster track to complete obscurity than even the NHL. And what if he, as people seem to think, somehow brainwashed Britney into putting her career on hold for the benefit of his? Is that such a bad thing? Have people really missed getting new music from an “artist” better known for cavorting with a snake at the VMA Awards then for any of her songs? Or maybe it’s Britney Spears the serious actress people have missed. But that can’t be it — the only people to notice Crossroads were the Golden Raspberry Awards folks, who gave Spears that year’s “Worst Actress” trophy.

Me, I’ll take K-Fed’s “Lose Control” over Britney’s “Toxic” any day. At least K-Fed is good for a few laughs. But, as Spears showed in her surprise Late Show appearance this week, she seems like a pleasant enough person. And she now has two very young children to raise. So I wish her well. And I wish K-Fed well too. But I do have a feeling that he’s going to wind up as an adult movie “star.” Too bad about that pre nup.

Too bad too about John Stocco’s shoulder injury and broken ribs suffered in last week’s victory over Penn State. While I’ve heard some people gloss over Stocco’s condition with the attitude that P.J. Hill and the Badgers’ stout defense will be enough to persevere in Saturday’s game against Iowa, I’m not so sure. Yes, Hill and the D are major, major reasons the Badgers are 9-1 and in the hunt for a January 1 bowl berth. But Stocco’s contributions as QB should not be so easily taken for granted. He leads the Big Ten in pass efficiency, completion percentage, and has proven to be a steady, tough, and intelligent signal-caller, particularly in the two-minute drill at the end of the first half, where the Badgers have scored in seven of ten games this year. And he has an obvious, palpable chemistry with Paul Hubbard and Luke Swan that Tyler Donovan hasn’t had the opportunity to replicate.

You know Stocco wants badly to play this weekend, particularly as it will be his last chance to beat Iowa, a team that has beaten the Badgers four straight years. And though Iowa is slumping to the tune of three straight conference losses coming into Saturday’s game, no doubt the Hawkeyes will be very motivated on Saturday to keep their streak against the Badgers alive. Can the Badgers win with Tyler Donovan at the helm? No doubt. Will the Badgers win with Tyler Donovan at the helm? Definite doubt.

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