Where’s My Private Suite, Mr. Goodell?

I must admit, I felt very sorry for him. For hour after hour, every time I looked up , he was still there. Just sitting there. Looking sad and pathetic. Waiting to hear his name called. But it never was. Eventually he sequestered himself in another room, which almost made me feel worse. Like he didn’t want anyone to see him so sad. But eventually, the call came. I collared him and took him outside for a potty break.

Yes, I’m talking about my dog. I was staining my deck on Saturday and didn’t give the dog as much attention as he normally gets when I’m home. What, you thought I was talking about Brady Quinn? Yeah right. I didn’t feel sorry for him at all on Saturday and still don’t.

Let’s look at the facts of the Brady Quinn situation: Here is a young good-looking guy who is going to be a millionaire before his 23rd birthday. Should anyone really feel sorry for him that his ego got a little bruised because he wasn’t taken higher in the NFL draft? Isn’t that preposterous? Yes, it is true that he won’t make as much as a 22nd overall pick then he would have made as a 7th pick or a 9th pick, but he will make millions of dollars nevertheless. Furthermore, if Quinn proves himself with Cleveland, the team that eventually traded up to get him as their second first-round pick (after Wisconsin tackle Joe Thomas), he will earn tens of millions more.

But ESPN and countless others talked about Quinn and talked to Quinn as if he was a concerned father waiting outside of a bank where his daughter was being held hostage by bloodthirsty crooks. Or as a concerned father awaiting news if his enlisted son had survived a suicide bombing in Baghdad. ESPN’s Suzy Kolber threw every “how does this make you feel?” question to an ever-increasingly distraught Quinn. I just wanted Quinn to retort, “At least I didn’t get propositioned by a drunk Joe Namath on national television. That would really make me feel like an ass.”

Eventually of course, Quinn got the word that the Cleveland Browns had traded picks with the Dallas Cowboys and Quinn had been selected by the Browns as the 22nd overall pick. It’s a perfect situation for Quinn — he is originally from Dublin, Ohio, and he should be able to compete (against Charlie Frye) right away for the Browns starting QB job. Plus, he can look forward to lining up for years behind big Joe Thomas. (Unless Thomas decides to take some game days off to go fishing with his dad.) So now no one feels sorry for Brady Quinn. But I never did.

Now I feel sorry for the Dolphin fans who have to deal with more uncertainty with their team’s quarterback position. Granted, they might work out a trade for Trent Green, but even if they land Green and he stays healthy (a big if), how much does the 37-year-old QB have left in him? Is John Beck, the BYU quarterback Miami drafted in the second round, the QB of the future? Is Cleo Lemon? What will become of Daunte Culpepper? What a mess. But hey, Dolphin fan, at least you have Ted Ginn, Jr. He could be a real solid third receiver. If his sprained left foot, which is still in a boot, recovers in time for camp. Which he says there is no guarantee of.

I’ll give the Minnesota Vikings a pass for now for not taking Quinn two picks earlier, opting to go instead with Oklahoma running back Adrian Peterson. While the Vikings’ quarterback situation is arguably worse than Miami’s — Brooks Bollinger and Tavaris Jackson are the extent of the purple’s QB depth — Peterson’s upside is much greater than Ted Ginn Jr.’s, and the Vikings are badly in need of playmakers on offense. Peterson, along with Georgia Tech wideout Calvin Johnson, is as much of a sure playmaker as there was in the 2007 NFL Draft. Either Bollinger or Jackson should be capable of handing the ball off to either Peterson or Chester Taylor, which could be the extent of their offense next year. Which might be more than the Packers will have. But more about that, and the Packers shaky draft selections, later.

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